now we are (thirty-)six

Today is my birthday.

As is my custom, I like to take some time to reflect back on the year, to take note of the milestones and disappointments, and to honor both where I am currently and where I appear to be headed next.

When I turned thirty, I wrote an open letter to all of the people who had been significant players in my life, even?or especially??those who had brought frustrating and painful lessons to my doorstep. But I’m a sentimental fool that way.

This last year was both wonderful and challenging. Wonderful in that I very easily and unexpectedly fell into step with eight amazing women here in Portland who are now pretty much the best friends I’ve ever had. I had never truly been a part of a circle like this before, where there is so much unconditional and open support and honesty, and great hilarity as well. With these women, I (quite literally) go dancing through cross-walks, hold spontaneous vigils in groves of trees, laugh so hard that I’m crying over some stupid joke about a bowl of soup, and lie in the dirt by the river in the middle of the chilly night gazing up at meteor showers in the heavens.

Quite simply, these friends of mine have enriched my life in ways I hadn’t even imagined.

The move to Oregon in 2004 has been very good in a number of other ways, too. This is a better fit for me politically, spiritually, and meteorologically. I am still more single and independent than I would have liked, but there are some trade-offs there as well.

This past year of life has also presented me with what can only be described as a year-long mid-life crisis. In last year’s birthday posting, I mused on a a similar theme in an episode of “One Day at a Time,” so perhaps I’d set myself up for this year of extreme reflection and re-examination.

My grandmother told me years ago that being so interested in?and good at?so many different things is both a blessing and a curse. She really hit that nail on the head. I’ve spent decades now trying to mold so many diverse talents and ambitions into a more cohesive whole?and let me tell you something folks: it’s not as easy as it looks. People in my position usually end up with several different careers, often feeling like wholly independent lifetimes, and a rather well-rounded personal and professional resume.

This, apparently, is the year that I commit.

This past weekend, I spent some time thinking about what I’m doing with myself professionally, and asked myself this question: “All things being equal, what would I be doing differently, if I could?”

Of course, the first answer that came to mind was archaeology. Am I willing to go back into traditional academia right now, to put myself into significant debt to obtain those degrees, and then to enter a new field as a complete beginner at the age of 40 or later? Not so much, no. So I’ll keep featuring archaeologists as main characters in my books and other stories, will keep abreast of current digs, and/or might go dig up a few things myself as an amateur. Or maybe I’ll end up meeting and marrying an archaeologist. A girl can dream, right?

Other than that, there’s not a whole lot I would change. I am pursuing a doctoral degree in metaphysical sciences. I am working as a writer?getting paid for the technical stuff, and still writing creatively as well. I am enjoying increasing success as both a hypnotherapist and energy worker and have started conducting my own research studies. So unless an IONS affiliate decides to call me up to come do projects with them, or I discover a way to easily teleport through time and across galaxies (hey, it could happen), I’d say that I’m settling in.

While continuing education and trying new things will always be major factors, it seems I am committing, at last, to my life. Letting go of the “wait and see” approach I’ve been carrying around the last ten years or so. I think I’ll try this on for awhile, see how it suits me.

And that, in the immortal words of Forest Gump, is all I have to say about that.

Posted in news, thoughts from the spiral.

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