Today, I’m thrilled to host writer and fellow blogathoner Van Waffle! I have been touched and inspired by his writing and photos, and I hope you will be, too.
An atheist’s spirituality
by Van Waffle
For many years I have regarded the two rivers in my city, Guelph, Ontario, Canada, as a metaphor for the pilgrimage of life. We know roughly where they come from and where they will end, but the details are foggy. All we can see is one little piece at a time: a bend, some rocks, sunlight, trees and water flowing through the scenic landscape.
One February day some years ago I wandered beside one of the few places in the city where the drifting Eramosa River rushes over shallow stones. It pressed past icy banks. I was despondent over a personal loss.
Suddenly I had some kind of vision. The low rapids seemed to shine like scales. The stream?s curve became animated as a snake.
Craving nature?s blessing, I directed a question vaguely skyward: ?What does it mean??
Just as suddenly, the serpent settled peacefully into being a river again.
For years I had used religion to defend my mind against the bleakness of human existence. We imagine whatever we need to survive. Desire shapes perception. Believing in God, I had come to the river that day looking for a sign, seeking articulate meaning where nature was only bent upon its own obscure purposes. I saw my mistake, built upon many before it.
That moment, I realized I no longer believed in anything supernatural.
It was the loneliest moment of my life, but also the beginning of a new, more reasoned ethic. I struggled with the concepts of spirit and spirituality. Without the supernatural, all the thoughts, feelings and sensation that make up who I am must be held within this fleshy vessel.
But eventually I recognized the sum of my experiences as spirit. It requires nurture beyond simple bread, water and shelter.
Right and wrong as a set of hard rules eventually becomes useless. Our values must evolve. We grow as individuals and a species, learning how to get along with fellow citizens of the planet.
In the great scheme of things I doubt that it matters whether our race survives, because I do not think the universe was created for us. But for the moment, in the glimmer of our waking, it matters how we survive. Consciousness is the gift of random experimentation by a complex universe.
I respect the value of metaphor, and God might be a metaphor. I long to grasp the patience and wisdom of trees. Love might never be completely unconditional, but it comes in many colors: vivid, quiet, fleeting, enduring. Church life gives way to a wider sense of community and responsibility.
I continue to follow the two rivers, more often now the energetic, extroverted Speed River. It slowly peels me open to the great enterprise of nature. I remain a pilgrim, grounded solely on the stretch of bank beneath my feet.
Van Waffle is a freelance journalist. He blogs about urban nature, gardening and local food at Speed River Journal. His work has appeared in Edible Toronto, Gluten-Free Living and CottageLife.com.
Images courtesy of Van Waffle.
Pingback: Why I write – Van Waffle